Former basketball player gives advice on regret, opportunity

Former Daleville and Enterprise basketball player Jeremy Boykin spoke to local student-athletes recently about how to deal with regret and make the most of opportunities.

"Don't worry about tomorrow, but you need to be prepared for tomorrow," Boykin said. "It's necessary. It's absolutely necessary. Where you are right now, everything you're doing, eventually it's going to be over. Regret is something worth fearing."

The former Warhawk and Wildcat, who now has two clothing lines, turned toward basketball at age 3 and gathered awards as he grew.

"Tenth grade is when it got interesting, because that year I played JV," Boykin said. "I'd met the varsity coach in ninth grade so I felt as if I was going to be on varsity when I went up to the high school (at Enterprise). That isn't what happened so I was kind of disappointed about it."

Boykin moved to Daleville as a junior. Things started well, but later took a turn.

"It was a great year," he said. "I really enjoyed myself. I was locked in, I was focused and I was serious about it. Something happened that year. I ran into a distraction. There was a young lady I started dating. I didn't realize it was a distraction."

Daleville's coach did realize the junior's distraction, however, and threatened the loss of his starting spot.

"Sometimes we get told things and we fix the situation for that moment, but we don't change the mindset," Boykin said. "We don't change the part of us, internally, that's the reason for the problem."

After his junior year at DHS, Boykin's family returned to Enterprise for his final season.

"We were good," he said. "I was the second-leading scorer on the team, and the leading rebounder. It was a really good year. It was going really (well), but,…if you don't fix the issue internally, if you don't fix your mindset and fix the problem (just) for that one moment, that won't do it."

During the year, Boykin said he arrived to a game after his teammates already put on their uniforms.

"Game time comes, and (I) don't start," he said. "The only time I had not started was when I came to Daleville I didn't start the first two or three games because I was new. I think I got in the game (about) twice…for a total of maybe five minutes. I didn't start another game the rest of the season."

The mistake turned out to cost the former student-athlete more than he envisioned at the time.

"I'm here today because I've got a lot of regret in my heart from mistakes I've made," Boykin said. "That story right there ended badly for me."

The Wildcats eventually reached the regional finals in 2007 before they lost to LeFlore.

"We lost and although I gave it my all that game, I didn't start," Boykin said. "It hurt me to not start. Something else I didn't do, I never talked to Coach about what I did. I never apologized. I never said, 'I'm sorry for disrespecting the team.' I never said, 'I was wrong, Coach.' I just had an attitude problem the whole time about it."

After high school, Boykin didn't take any of the three scholarships he was offered.

"I didn't take not a single one," he said. "I had a bad season, and I felt some type of way about that. When I say a bad season I don't mean numbers wise, but I mean my attitude — how I felt mentally (and) emotionally because my pride had been hurt."

Boykin relayed his story to the student-athletes, and told them to prepare for their futures in every area of life.

"It (is not) just about the ball," he said. "It (is not) just about the game. It (is not) just about the sport. It's about trying to be great in every area of life. You can't corner cut life. You think what you do in the classroom (doesn't have anything) to do with what you do on the field, but I promise you it (does). You think what you do at home (doesn't have anything) to do with what you do at school, but I promise you it (does)."

Though he's been out of high school nearly 10 years, the former student-athlete still questions some of his past choices.

"What I've learned in these last nine and some change years, I can't even comprehend the mistakes I've made," Boykin said. "How in the world do I not take a scholarship? It's stupid, and I regret it every single day of my life."

Regrets from his high school days are things Boykin still deals with.

"If you don't switch your mentality, if you don't change your attitude, you're going to be full of regret," he said. "Regret is something you need to fear. Regret is something you need to be afraid of, because regret is forever. There's nothing you can do about regret. You can't undo it. I can't go back and take that scholarship. I can't go back and tell Coach, 'My bad, can I please get my starting position back?' All I can do is take it and share it."

Part of the message the former basketball player shared with current student-athletes involves nightmares he has about the game to which he was late.

"That's how bad I regret it," Boykin said. "That's how bad I love winning. That's how much I value the sport. That's how much I'm angry I made the mistakes I made."

The solution Boykin gave to avoid future regret is to give effort above and beyond in the present.

"You always bring 100 percent for yourself, and an extra 50 percent for whoever (is not) going to show up," he said. "You've got to show up and show out. You've got to make your presence felt. You have to learn how to cherish the moment. You have to learn how to value opportunity, because you're only going to get one shot. There are some things you do in life you will not get a do-over for."

Boykin also told the students to make the best of opportunities they receive.

"This is your opportunity to change your mindset to quit taking advantage of life," he said. "This is your opportunity to quit treating life like you will always get two chances, three chances (or) four chances. Eventually, time runs out."